TO-WIT: LOOK, UP IN THE SKY
Ever since I was a kid, superheroes have for me been all the rage. In those days their domain was comic books and it was there they proliferated like bunnies. Every fictitious city had a full complement of them. Why you could hardly walk down any fictitious city street without at least one of them single bounding over every building in sight; as for the smaller towns, well, you couldn’t saunter past any corner where at least one youthful super ingénue wasn’t being bar mitzvahed or confirmed.
Nowadays their primary domain is the movies. Go to any theater and you’ll see Superman, Batman, Spiderman, Iron Man, Silver Surfer and Daredevil, just to name a few, displaying their superwares (or in the case of Tuperman, his Tuperwares) for all to see. Oh, and its glorious. I have never ever tired of seeing villain’s guns being twisted into pretzels or dirty politicians being hung out to dry in spider webs, and if the popularity of these movies is any indication, neither have you.
While the more mainstream superheroes have always garnered most of the notoriety, they are not without their counterparts in the legal profession. Since law immemorial, we have had more than our fair share of Superlawyers, and by that I don’t mean the sort who buy their way into the trade magazines of the same name. Each has had powers and abilities beyond mortal lawyers, and since efficacious self-aggrandizement has never been our stock and trade, I’m taking it upon myself, here and now, to rectify that pitiful inadequacy.
What follows then is a brief bio of those lawyers who’s unique super powers forever place them at the very pinnacle of a profession in which almost everyone is in some part super.
TED “FELONIOUS” MONK – A criminal defense lawyer par excellence, Ted realized early in his youth that he possessed the power to read people’s minds, a knack which led to his unerring ability to know when to stay out of his parents’ bedroom. When he took up criminal defense, he was always able to ascertain his clients’ guilt or innocence, obliging him to never once put a client on the witness stand.
©2012- S. Sponte, Esq.