TO-WIT: A CHRISTMAS CAROL
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
No, wait, that isn’t it. Oh yes, here it is.
The snow was gently falling, layering the streets with a soft, gentle blanket of white. How new it looked, how clean, a perfect backdrop for the festive spirit in the air. As was the annual custom, the lights from most all the downtown windows had been left on, and they sparkled gaily, their joyous twinkles reflected in the snow, making it seem for all the world that dancing fairies were everywhere.
In anticipation of all the seasonal cheer and good will, rendering lawyers and their concomitant support staff for the moment pretty much unnecessary, all the law firms had let out early. All that is but one.
At Screwge and Slaves, it was pretty much business as usual. Although the firm’s entire personnel was obliged to work on Xmas eve, there were no lights on at all. But then, there never were.
Old Man Screwge sat alone in his office, reflecting on his day. It had been a good one, a good one indeed. In keeping with the firm’s long standing policy, he had distributed Xmas bonuses that afternoon to the firm’s senior partners, and, as was also the firm’s long standing policy, he had fired all the other senior partners that morning, leaving only himself to collect.
“Ho, ho, ho,” he thought.
“You are a cruel and heartless man,” Bob Wretched had said to him, “doing this to us on Xmas Eve. And you don’t even do family law.”
“Thanks, Bob, but flattery won’t change things. Have a nice holiday.”
“You know,” Wretched replied, “if you continue to do such cruel and heartless things, it will do untold damage to your reputation.”
“That is my reputation,” Screwge replied, “but nice try.”
©2004, S. Sponte, Esq.