TO-WIT: WebJD
Although I have for quite some time now been prompted by the miseries of an ever aging body to surf on over to WebMD for a diagnosis. It didn’t occur to me until just recently how this concept might also apply to our profession. It seems my muse, usually the very soul of prattle, was uncharacteristically subdued as I perused the website, offering not so much as one tick of the comedic inspiration that has made me the most durable legal humorist of all time.
I get it though; I know from many years of personal experience that being funny always takes a back seat when you are sitting at a computer knowing you have a fatal disease.
My last visit to WebMD was precipitated by naught but an ingrown toenail, a condition that not even I deem as potentially terminal. Thus unencumbered by the fear of impending demise, my muse grabbed hold.
“If,” I said to myself, momentarily disregarding the searing twinge of proud flesh coming from my right big toe, “so many folks are using WebMD to get medical information, surely there must be a crying need for a similar website to get legal information.”
Oh how quickly I googled, and as usual I was right; there is nothing out there like what I had in mind. So I came up with WebJD, the website where, in simple question and answer form, people can get sufficient information about their legal problems. And by the way, there is no cost; this is purely an eleemosynary endeavor, my meager effort to give back to all those unfortunate, law stricken souls out there, many of whom endured the heart-searing tragedies that put my kids through college. I won’t make a cent on this but for the fairly substantial advertising revenues I know are out there, and oh, maybe some referral fees.
For the time being I am fielding all of the queries. Here are just a few early examples:
FROM PUZZLED WIFE – Without telling me, my husband took out a big insurance policy on my life, and now he’s hanging out around gun shows. What should I do?
Dear Puzzled Wife - It would appear you need the services of a good estate planning lawyer. Several advertise on this site and could provide the assistance required. Some are even running specials this week on noncupative wills, so hurry up, won’t you, and give them a call?
FROM OLD, WRINKLED AND ALONE – I am 93 years old, my husband passed away last year leaving me all alone with forty million dollars. I have no living relatives and no experience handling money. What should I do?
Dear Gorgeous – Wanna catch a movie this Saturday night?
FROM DOUBLEWIDE – Saying something about my having gained more than three hundred pounds since our civil ceremony, my long time partner moved out of our doublewide mobile home, taking all the Chihuahuas and my bust of William Howard Taft with him. What should I do?
Dear Doublewide, Push ups.
See how simple it is? Even you could do it. So I’m going to trademark this name, register the website, incorporate the business and offer you shares of stock that, in short order, will attain a value that puts Google to shame, even if their P/E ratio might be somewhat better.
Oh, I see happy days ahead, boats, sports cars, a winter home in the sun, but please don’t misunderstand - I am not doing this for the money.
©2015, S. Sponte, Esq.